Gene Hackman and disrespecting the privacy of the dearly departed

Every few years there occurs a death of a celebrity that brings me to tears. Not because of who the person is, necessarily. Instead, my tears are for the way their lives ended and the way they are treated, in death.

The legendary top-40 countdown radio DJ, Casey Kasem, immediately comes to mind when I think of celebrities who were mistreated at the end of their lives, and in death.

I, along with many others, grew up listening to Kasem. His voice was unmistakable. It was soothing. Every Sunday from 9am to 1pm, he would countdown the top 40 songs of the week.

"Rocketing up ten spots in the countdown this week is a song by a young new artist with an angelic, yet powerful voice – Whitney Houston. If the last name sounds familiar, it is because she is the daughter of Cissy Houston who had top 40 hits in the 1970's with 'I'll Be There,' 'Be My Baby,' and 'Think It Over.' Coming in at number three on this week's countdown is daughter Whitney's debut single, 'You Give Good Love.'"

Kasem's voice was rhythmic and soothing. Way before the days of streaming and having every song ever made at your fingertips, I would sit on the carpet in front of my stereo and have my two fingers positioned on the REC and PLAY buttons on the cassette tape deck. When Kasem would stop introducing a favorite song of mine, I would press those two buttons down (yes, you had to press both of them down at the same time, for some reason, in order to record).

When Kasem signed off at the end of the countdown with his signature, "Until next week – keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars" line, I would pop the Memorex cassette out of the stereo and pop it in my bulky Walkman attached to my waistline, put on my headphones, and go do my household chores. That was my Sunday routine.

One of the highlights of the countdown was reading a "long distance dedication." Kasem would read a letter from a listener with some sad story to tell. Usually, Kasem would say something like this:

"Now let's take a break from the countdown to read a long distance dedication. This week's long distance dedication comes from Janine in Austin, Texas and it goes out to Robert. Janine and Robert got married last August. They spent a wonderful two weeks in Hawaii on their honeymoon, but then Robert had to ship out to Japan to fulfill the two years he has left for active duty in the Navy. Janine wants Robert to know she misses him like crazy and she can't wait until the day they can be in each other's arms again. So this one goes out to you, Robert. Here is 'Reunited and It Feels So Good' by Peaches & Herb."

Come to find out after Kasem had retired that he also voiced a character in one of my favorite cartoons growing up. He was the voice of Shaggy – the always nervous, lanky companion of Scooby Doo. For those who don't know, Scooby was a Great Dane dog who was part of a small group of crime sleuths. Somehow, Scooby always seemed to find a way to catch the bad guy in some kind of bizarre, clumsy fashion.

Kasem should have gone on to enjoy retirement, knowing that he had left his mark as an icon of American pop culture. Instead, some will remember him for the way he was mistreated in his final years, as well as the dispute between his wife and his children over where Kasem would, ultimately, be buried.

Kasem died on June 15, 2014 after suffering from Lewy Body Dementia – the same disease that, slowly, took my mother's life. He was buried six months later in – of all places – Oslo, Norway. Kasem had no connection with Norway, whatsoever. In actuality, according to his children, Kasem had expressed a desire for his final resting place to be in Los Angeles.

The whereabouts of Kasem's body during the six months between his death and his burial was a mystery, at times. The whole story is just sad.

There were reports of elder abuse and neglect by his wife, Jean. During Kasem's final days, Jean, essentially, kidnapped Kasem from a nursing home in Santa Monica, California and took him to her home in Washington State, with a stop over in Las Vegas. She wouldn't allow Kasem's children to visit him.

Knowing what my mother went through, suffering with Lewy Body Dementia, just breaks my heart at the thought of how helpless and oblivious Kasem must have been. Just like my mother, his life deserved a better ending.

The other tragic handling of a celebrity's death that comes to mind is James Brown, the legendary musician known as "The Godfather of Soul." Brown died on December 25, 2006 at the age of 73. The events leading up to his death have been cause for speculation. The official cause was heart failure, but there are some who believe he was murdered.

I didn't remember hearing about the murder theories, but I do, vividly, remember being in shock when I had heard several weeks after his death that James Brown still had not been buried. It wasn't until March 10, 2007 when Brown was buried in an above-ground crypt at his daughter's home.

Prior to that, his body had been held in cold storage at a funeral home for over two months. The funeral home director, Charles Reid, actually bragged about how good Brown's corpse looked, saying Brown "could even be displayed for another public viewing" weeks after his death.

The Daily News quoted James Brown's alleged partner at the time of his death, Tomi Rae, as saying "they had to cut off Brown's legs to get to his bone marrow" in order to retrieve DNA to do a paternity test to prove Rae's son, James Jr., was, indeed, Brown's son. That's just awful.

In researching the fiasco following Brown's death, I was reminded that – as James Brown's body was being kept on ice at the funeral home awaiting word on where he would be buried – former Playboy Playmate, Anna Nicole Smith, died during this same time period. She died on February 8, 2007 from an accidental prescription drug overdose. Her burial was also delayed for more than three weeks as lawyers tried to determine who was the father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn.

Which brings me to what got me thinking about all of this disrespect bestowed upon dead celebrities.

This past Tuesday, body cam footage was released by police in Santa Fe, New Mexico, showing the moment they entered the home of the beloved actor, Gene Hackman, who was found dead along with his wife, Betsy, on February 26.

The whole spectacle revolving around Hackman's death in the weeks since his death has disgusted me – peaking with the release of this video this week. Where is the human decency?

Sure, the videos "blur" out the bodies of Hackman and his wife, but you can still make out the shapes and the position of the bodies. It's not right.

Hackman was a very private person in life. That is a big reason why no one knew that he and his wife were laying dead in their house for over a week.

What, now, gives us permission to enter his home and look at the the living conditions inside? What gives us permission to take advantage of Hackman and his wife – when they are no longer here to advocate for themselves – and to show their bodies laying on the floor in the most vulnerable of positions in the privacy of their own home? It is inhumane.

Hackman doesn't deserve to be remembered like this. He retired from acting a long time ago. He removed himself from the public domain. He served his time dealing with the media and fans.

He elected to live in the mountains of New Mexico to get away from the world – to enjoy the vistas and maybe work on some paintings or just listen to music or read. He didn't owe us anything else. Maybe he never did owe us anything. He was a man who went to work and did his job, and did it well. He wanted to enjoy a peaceful retirement like anybody else.

Hackman suffered from Alzheimer's in his final years. The Alzheimer's contributed to his death, as he was, most likely, unaware that his wife lay dead in another part of the home. Unable to take care of himself, it was only a matter of time that tragedy would befall him.

I am sorry this happened to Hackman.

Alzheimer's is a cruel, cruel disease. Hackman was always, reportedly, a workout fiend. He took care of himself, not only physically, but also mentally. He liked to paint and read.

It just goes to prove that there is no evading any form of dementia when it decides it is time to take over your mind. In most cases, it is not a matter of "if" but, instead, "when." Hackman is fortunate, in one respect, that it got him in his 90's. My mother wasn't so lucky, as it got her in her 70's.

But that is not why I am sorry. I am sorry to Hackman for the way the media has treated his death. I am sorry for the exploitation. I am sorry for society's morbid curiosity. I am sorry for our invasion of his privacy. I am sorry for people calling his home a "hoarder's house." I am sorry there is no one here now to defend him.

I am sorry his three children weren't there for him at the end. Dogs, once again, proved to be more loyal than humans. One of Hackman's two surviving German Shepherds was seen laying inches away from – seemingly guarding – Hackman's wife when officers entered the house.

Hackman's children couldn't have been that close with their dad if none of them checked on him for over a week. The fact Hackman didn't include his children in his will is telling of their estranged relationship.

The ultimate discovery of Hackman and his wife came as a result of the concerns of – and a 911 call from – a maintenance worker on the property. The day Hackman was discovered dead, the children told the media that Hackman had been in "good health" and that the deaths were, probably, due to carbon monoxide poisoning.

Were they that ignorant to the advanced Alzheimer's their father was suffering from? Why would they say he was in good health and that he has been keeping up his routine of doing yoga and pilates in recent months? Why would they speculate about the carbon monoxide poisoning? Were they ashamed that if it was determined that both Hackman and his wife had died of natural causes and were deceased in the home for a prolonged period of time that it would look bad on them for not checking on them?

It doesn't matter that Hackman was a celebrity or that he lived in a $4 million home or that he may have had a net worth of $80 million. No one deserves to die alone and afraid.

And the dead deserve to have much more respect bestowed on their corpses, as well as their property and belongings, after they are gone. Just because they are no longer here to speak for themselves, it doesn't mean we can cross boundaries that existed in life.

The dead deserve to have their dignity upheld. They deserve reverence. They deserve respect.

German Shepherds understand these things, why can't we?