Reaction to Wynonna Judd's performance at the CMAs

I’ve never been a big fan of country music. Growing up in the 1980’s, I remember hearing about country stars like Alabama, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Reba McEntire, Glen Campbell, and Kris Kristofferson.I did like Kenny Rogers, probably because “Lady” was my brother’s wedding dance song. 

I also liked the song they played in one of my favorite movies growing up – Smokey and the Bandit. I never really considered it a country song. It was simply a theme song to me. It took me a few years to realize the actor in it, Jerry Reed, was a country musician and he sang the song.

But if you were to ask me which act symbolized country music in the 1980’s, I’d answer The Judds. I can’t recall listening to any of their songs. I knew what they looked like, though. I found them to be two attractive, young women with fiery red hair and booming voices and beautiful harmonies. It just wasn’t my thing. 

I was all about Michael Jackson, Prince, Whitney Houston, and even Madonna. It was the heyday of MTV music videos and now that I think about it, My cousin who lives four blocks away was my only family member who had MTV. I would go over after school every day for weeks on end and just sit in front of his TV and watch VJs (the TV version of radio DJs) like Downtown Julie Brown play music videos. They played music videos on a loop which repeated itself about every four hours. So when Billie Jean came on for the second time, I knew it was time to leave. Now that I think about it, I don’t recall ever seeing any country music videos. I know I wouldn’t have sat through one.

But back to the Judds. Come to find out they weren’t sisters. They were mother-daughter. I was shocked. Naomi was the mother. Wynonna was the daughter. I couldn’t get over how young Naomi looked.

I remember it was big news when they broke up in 1991. Naomi, the mother, was retiring due to health reasons. Wynonna was going to carry on as a solo artist. It didn’t matter much to me. One could say that didn’t impress me much which makes me think of another country artist around this time who I did like – Shania Twain. But her more popular stuff was more pop-ish.

So, yeah, I never followed Wynonna’s career much. She was doing her thing. I knew she was successful. After all, only really successful people are known by only one name. Wynonna Judd was now known as just Wynonna.

So what got me thinking about Wynonna? The Country Music Awards were this week and the opening act was Jelly Roll. That confused me. Jelly Roll is a big man with a lot of tattoos and a very checkered youth spent mostly in jail. I take pride that I was listening to Jelly Roll years before anyone ever heard of him. I thought of him as a rapper who had a pretty good singing voice. His song “Save Me” really spoke to me.

So I couldn’t really figure out why Jelly Roll was at a country music award show. I guess somewhere along the way he crossed over to singing more and rapping less. Essentially he turned his life of drugs and despair into a country musician. He would go on to win three awards on this night, including best new country artist.

He also opened the show with a performance of his hit “Need A Favor.” There was a huge surprise planned for midway through the song. As Jelly Roll hit his chorus, from the side of the stage appeared Wynonna!  Something didn’t seem right, though. She was shuffling over to Jelly Roll. When she got to him, she held onto the sleeve of his jacket for dear life.  She stood there motionless, belting out her notes, staring blankly into the crowd or into Jelly’s face.

It sent me immediately to the computer to check if she had had any kind of medical condition recently I didn’t know about. The first thing that surprised me was that Wynonna was only 59 years old. The way the lady I saw on stage was acting, she looked in her late 60’s. Other than that, I didn’t really see anything which I was expecting like a stroke or some kind of muscular/nervous disorder. 

I did come across a YouTube clip of her at a recent concert complaining about being dizzy. She called for someone backstage to help. A stagehand did appear to hold her up as she stood with a guitar in front of a microphone stand. When someone brought her a stool to sit on, she declined, saying that if she was going to go down, she was going to go down big.

I went to social media to see what people were saying about her performance with Jell Roll. I saw a lot of comments about how Wynonna has been battling vertigo. Maybe that explains it, but I wasn't buying it.

After the concert, Wynonna took to social media to address the speculation. She said she was such a big fan of Jelly Roll that she was extremely nervous to perform with him. She didn’t want to let him down.

I find it hard to believe that a superstar performer like Wynonna was suddenly paralyzed by stage fright due to performing with Jelly Roll. She’s been performing for over four decades. No offense to Jelly Roll, but I’d imagine Wynonna has sung with much bigger stars.

Digging a little deeper, I was reminded that Wynonna’s mother and former musical partner, Naomi, had committed suicide only last year. Digging even deeper, I discovered it was Naomi’s other daughter, actress Ashley Judd, who found Naomi lying dead from a gunshot wound. Ashley was visiting her parents as she did frequently. She was in the house with her parents when she stepped out to meet an arriving guest outside. When she came back in and went upstairs searching for her mother, that’s when she found her. The very next day Naomi was scheduled to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

It amazes me how quickly life can end. We spend so much time going through all the grades of  school, working our jobs (sometimes maybe two or three at once) to make ends meet, having families and being good, caring parents, and hanging out with friends. Some of us invest a lot of time and effort in taking care of our bodies and minds. If we’re lucky, some of us can get rich and be able to afford anything we want. But it can all be over in the split second it takes to pull a trigger or kick the chair out from underneath you. It can be all over in the split second you look down to check your cell phone when you are driving. It can be all over in the split second some heavily armed mentally disturbed person decides to randomly pick the restaurant you happen to be enjoying a good meal.

Here was Ashley Judd having a typical morning conversation, from her account, with her mother. It was nothing out of the ordinary. Then minutes later, Ashley and Wynonna were without their mother. In the blink of an eye, their mother had become just a memory. There was no more present or future with their mother. There was now only a past. No longer can you say your mother is a wonderful person. Now you have to say your mother was a wonderful person. That simple grammatical shift is a constant reminder that a loved one is no longer here with us in the physical sense.

Wynonna and her mother had a well-chronicled, very turbulent relationship for a successful mother-daughter singing duo. As Wynonna said in an interview, they both had alpha personalities. They were very much the same strong woman with strong opinions. Had it not been for Naomi buying a guitar to try to focus a rebellious 12-year-old Wynonna, we may never have heard of the Judds.

After watching several interviews with Wynonna, both before and after her mother’s death, I grew a tremendous amount of respect for her. I watched her CMA performance through a different lens.

But Wynonna deserves the most credit for not being afraid to reach out for help. She did it at the CMA show in the most literal of fashions by holding onto Jelly Roll during the whole performance. She did it by asking for help from someone backstage when she felt lightheaded at a concert months before. She did it when she reached out to grief counselors following her mother’s death. The lesson to be learned is there is no shame in asking for help.

Wynonna is also proof that we are all human. It doesn’t matter how famous or successful you are. Wynonna said in an interview that she has been “poor/happy and rich/unhappy.” She grew up dirt poor in the remote parts of Kentucky.  She never did forget her roots. She remained humble despite her fame. She never wanted to be an entertainer. She was a singer.

Wynonna said in an interview that everyone speaks about the five phases of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But her therapist added a sixth one – finding a purpose. I’ve gotten beyond four of the five phases, but I have been stuck in the depression phase. The “finding a purpose” phase was an eye-opener for me. That is the single hardest thing I have been trying to overcome since my mother's passing two years ago.

This blog is an attempt by me to find that purpose, or any kind of purpose. It is primarily therapeutic for me, but I also hope I can make a connection with someone reading this who may be going through the same thing. I think it is essential that we all have a purpose in life.

It is a credit to Wynonna, and Ashley, for dealing with their grief in such a public manner. It is the price you pay for fame, but they could have chosen to retreat from the public eye. They didn’t have to have anyone know about their grief or their process. They chose, however, to find some positive in an absolutely horrifically tragic event. It is a lesson for all of us to learn. And if you need help, please reach out.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health, suicide or substance use crisis or emotional distress, reach out 24/7 to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741.