Sinead O'Connor and de-stigmatizing mental illness

In August of 2017, Sinead O’Connor posted on Facebook a troubling video shot from a dingy motel room in New Jersey pleading for help, claiming that she is one of millions struggling with mental illness and that she can’t take care of herself.

“Every day I’ve spent for two years that my entire life is revolving around just not dying and that’s not living, and I’m not gonna die. I’m not gonna die, but still this is no way for people to be living.”

In 2015, O'Connor received a hysterectomy and she claimed she was released prematurely following the procedure. The hormonal imbalance caused her mental state to spiral into what we see here.

“I don’t want to die. I want to stay alive. I’ve got children. It’s for them I’m not going to die,” she tearfully continued.

On Wednesday, six years after that disturbing video, Sinead O’Connor did succumb to her demons.

“Police were called at 11:18 hours on Wednesday, 26 July to reports of an unresponsive woman at a residential address in the SE24 area. Officers attended. A 56-year-old woman was pronounced dead at the scene. Next of kin have been notified. The death is not being treated as suspicious.”

It is a sad end to a turbulent life of a beautiful, misunderstood soul. While the cause of death has yet to be disclosed, it is obvious O’Connor was not doing well mentally. She posted the above Facebook video four years prior to her 17-year-old son, Shane, committing suicide. One can not even imagine the toll her son's suicide took on her and illustrates the snowball effect one's suicide can have on others.

Sinead O'Connor's death was not viewed as suspicious. Her family and friends were reported as being “devastated” by the news. It was unexpected. Her son had just committed suicide months earlier. One can form their own conclusions on her cause of death as we await autopsy reports.

What is confusing is O'Connor's final video on July 9. In the video, posted only weeks prior to her death, O'Connor looks to the future when she points out a guitar hanging on the wall of her new apartment, saying, "There is my new Martin Johnny Cash guitar that I am going to write some tunes on."

She also, apparently, was worried about her skin care as she ran her hand across her face, saying, "Oh yeah, I got Vaseline all over my face." Doesn't sound like someone that is considering suicide, does it? That is the thing about suicide, though. It just takes giving in once to that extreme moment of weakness.

O’Connor's life and death focuses attention on suicide and how no one is immune to the idea of it. She sought help. She was married four times and had four children. In her Facebook video, she claimed no one wanted to help her and that they had left her on her own in a motel in New Jersey. She was begging, begging, begging for someone to take her home and to take care of her.

According to Dr. Phil, O’Connor reached out to him after the video and told him she was in trouble and wanted to de-stigmatize mental illness. She said she wanted to use her life to be a teaching tool.

Knowing what we know now, watching the hour-long episode of Dr. Phil dedicated to interviewing O’Connor is difficult. O’Connor discussed the abuse she received at the hands of her mother. However, she was devastated when at the age of 18, her mother died in a car accident. Despite the abuse, she loved her mother and her death was crushing.

In 1990, O’Connor shot to stardom when her song, “Nothing Compares 2 U”, shot to the top of charts. The public was captivated by her music video and the emotion embodied in her beautiful blue eyes.

Only two years later, O’Connor took a blowtorch to her burgeoning career by ripping a picture of Pope John Paul II on Saturday Night Live. She was trying to raise awareness to the abuse of the Catholic church which a decade later the Catholic church was forced to admit. O’Connor was right, but that didn’t matter at the time. O’Connor’s career was over.

Four marriages and four children later, her son, Shane, escaped from a mental hospital while on suicide watch, and was found two days later dead. O’Connor posted on Twitter:

“My beautiful son, Nevi'im Nesta Ali Shane O'Connor, the very light of my life, decided to end his earthly struggle today and is now with God. May he rest in peace and may no one follow his example. My baby. I love you so much. Please be at peace,"

The line of the tweet that just jumps off the page is “may no one follow his example.” O’Connor battled for 18 months, but it appears she may have chosen not to heed her own words. On July 17, O’Connor tweeted:

"Been living as undead night creature since. He was the love of my life, the lamp of my soul. We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. I am lost in the bardo without him."

O’Connor lived the year and a half following his suicide, feeling alone, feeling “undead.” She longed to reunite with her mother and son. At the same time, she didn’t want to join the lengthy list of musicians who committed suicide that she presented on the Dr. Phil Show. She truly wanted to live, but she needed to feel loved. She longed for the love lost when her mother, and later her son, died. All her ex-husbands deserted her. Her remaining three children seemed to not care. For three decades, her fans had left her.

It was too much for any human being to bear. She needed only one person to come forward to help her. One could see her appreciation when Dr. Phil came forward to help. She appeared to light up. She even said she "felt like Cinderella." For brief moments during the interview, fans could see that winning smile and the sparkle in those beautiful blue eyes.

But Dr. Phil has a TV show. He couldn't be there for her 24/7. For that, she needed someone close to her - an ex-husband, one of her children, a friend, a manager, a neighbor to step forward and offer a hand. Sometimes that hurting person may strike the hand away, but one needs to be persistent.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 .